Vedant Misra

The Purpose of E-mail

I have come to the conclusion that the only reason electronic mail was created was to determine how many ways the word "Viagra" can be spelled while still maintaining its comprehensibility.

That's right. One detailed study suggests that there are 1,300,925,111,156,286,160,896 ways of spelling Viagra (scroll to the bottom) in the subject lines of junk mail so as to still attract the attention of a certain demographic.

What is this demographic, you ask? I, too, wish to know. We can safely deduce that the group probably consists primarily of men who are concerned about their health and have e-mail accounts. Am I forgetting something?

Ah yes, this group of men also manages to survive with only one eighth of a normal cerebrum. (That is the maximum amount of gray matter a human can possess before he realizes that clicking on the underlined blue words "G.e.t.f.r.e.e.VI---AGR*A_now" won't actually get him any free viagra.)