Vedant Misra


It was discovered yesterday by members of a certain musical ensemble that if a trumpet mouthpiece, which is relatively small, is used to play a sousaphone, which is relatively large, then it a simple matter to play every note without using any valves.

The result of such an arrangement is an overwhelming compulsion to use the instrument to produce a surprisingly ridiculous sound that, with some practice, can be forced to resemble music, which is not difficult to do, especially if the music is a certain piece written by a certain composer about a certain miltary conflict, and thus isn't really music but the instrumental version of the sounds a cat makes as it scrambles across the keys of a piano.