Vedant Misra

Farragoin' crazy

Wikipedia says that bread was first "developed by accidental cooking or deliberate experimentation with water and grain flour. " Now that's creativity:

"Hey, I just had this idea. You see those weeds? Let's pull them out of the ground, and we'll collect a whole bunch, and throw out the stems, and we'll grind up what we've got left. And then, how about we'll take the grounds and, like...add some water and salt? Does that sound good? And then we'll mold it up and put it on top of a fire. I think that something might happen."

Also, why does Vanna White still have a job? They don't use old-school blocks with letters on them anymore. Vanna White is totally unnecessary, but it's just some big secret they aren't willing to acknowledge. Pat Sajak even says stuff like "Vanna, why don't you bring up another puzzle for us?" to further the illusion. It's like some kind of crazy welfare program for people who are really good at revealing letters and have names that kind of rhyme with "banana fight."

Also, thank you, George Washington, for founding this country. Quite an accomplishment, really; now America will commemorate your life by buying lots of mattresses and SUVs at huge discounts.