Vedant Misra

Adamantium skeletons and weather-control are also banned

So I was on the airplane before take-off, and the flight attendant came on the loudspeaker and asked everyone to "stop our reading and conversations and just look at our safety booklets, just this once." I felt kind of bad, so I thought, "hey, every day, this lady has to do this like five times, and pretty much nobody pays attention. So maybe just this once, it's a good idea to actually take a look at the safety booklet."

It was a good thing I did, because the safety booklet had something very important to tell me, in the DOs and DON'Ts section:

"Do NOT start fires with your heat vision."

Uhh...that's about it.

Please realize that I had to risk life and limb in order to bring you this post. You see, taking a photo inside the cabin is probably enough reason, according to the Patriot Act, for an air marshall to taser and tackle a brown guy on an airplane. I could have died, really. Died. All for a dimly-lit, slightly blurry photo of a piece of cardboard with a crease through it. What? Me trying to rationalize the fact that I haven't had an actual bloggable idea for an entire week? No, not at all.

[In other words: I did not have any real ideas for a blog post. Instead, I offer you my apologies and a sophomoric image caption in place of anything even remotely intelligent.]